Losing All Sense of Wrong and Right
by kinkylittlered
Summary: WINCEST! Sam and Dean share a drunken night and face awkwardness during the next hunt.
1. Chapter 1

Dean felt the pressure of the knife against the swell of his back, the cold silver pressing into his toned skin. A sudden angst flooded over his tense body, the stress of the situation slowing his reaction time.

"Sam, please try to understand" he said in a calm voice, attempting to ration with his younger brother. The knife pressed more firmly against Dean's back, the threat clearly displayed.

"I do not want to understand, all I need to know is that you abandoned me." Sam said as the blade slide through a thin layer of Dean's skin.

"Sammy what happened was wrong, it was a drunken mistake. We can just pretend it never happened, please?" Dean pled, afraid that Sam would deny this simple request.

"Forget it? Forget and forgive? Dean this isn't another case, it isn't a situation we can move past." Sam said, a touch of sadness in his voice. "I…maybe I misunderstood the situation, but in any case I want you out."

Dean's lip trembled as he leaned his forehead against the wall, his thoughts swirling over the nights activities. _The sound of the bass blasted through the floor boards, sending trembles through Dean's legs. A content smile on Sam's face as he headed towards the bar, completely set on getting wasted and forgetting the day's events. Heading towards a group of young, beautiful women Dean split paths from his younger brother, both boys held the highest expectations for the night. _

_The boy's paths did not cross again until the evening's end, and a strange end it had evolved into. Dean had been bluntly denied by the two blonde beauties and Sam had thoroughly succeeded in engulfing himself in alcohol. Dean stumbled into the room, feeling rather down from the recent rejection. Sam sat on the couch, an odd porn video playing on the pay per view. Sam hardly gave Dean a nod in response to his entering the room. _

"_Dude, are you okay" Dean asked Sam, worry filling his voice. Typically Sam attempted to hide his porn habits. _

"_Do I look okay?" Sam asked in a sarcastic voice, his body slack against the chair. _

_Dean gave a simple shrug in response, unsure of what to say to his brother who was so obviously in pain. Walking over to the couch to turn off the porn Dean felt a tinge of pity. Sitting next to Sam Dean deliberately avoided looking at the hard lump in Sam's pants. _

"_Sammy, tell me what is going on," Dean slurred out, attempting to push the alcohol from his voice. The many shots he had shared with the girls were still weighing down his mind, causing the world to spin around him. _

"_I…I've lost the only person who will ever love me. Jessica was the only one who could ever love me, I am a monster. The things I think…I deserve to die alone." Sam said, a tear streaming down his face._

"_Sam I love you, your no monster. You have to know that, you are one of the most moral men I have ever met." Dean said simply, unsure of how to comfort his brother. He was not use to seeing is brother cry, emotion was common but tears were utterly shocking. _

"_I have all these thoughts, all these things that I cannot stop thinking about. They are so wrong Dean, so wrong. I'm better off dead or utterly alone than to be left with you and my thoughts." Sam said, hitting his fist violently on his thigh. Dean's eyes widened as he tried to wrap his mind around what thoughts could possibly be plaguing his brother's mind. Before Dean could respond Sam drunkenly leaned over and kissed his brother. The pressure of Sam's warm lips upon Dean's felt natural, almost felt right except that Dean knew it was wrong. His only reaction was to push his brother away, to deny the passion that had burned between them for the past few years. _

"_See Dean you could never understand, never understand what a monster I have become." Sam said as he pulled himself from the couch, the world spinning. "Dean…?" he asked as his weight became too much for him to withstand. Dean rushed to his brother's aid, wrapping his arm around his brother's waist. Pulling Sam back to the couch Dean couldn't help but feel guilty about denying his brother, for causing him pain. _

"_Sam forget this ever happened, tomorrow everything will be better. Your thoughts will clear and you won't be thinking about me in anyway except as your obnoxious older brother." Dean said "I mean it is natural, well not natural but it isn't unnatural…well maybe a bit unnatural. Sam all I am trying to say is that I am not judging you." _

"_I want you to judge me, I want you to consider all of the nights we spend sharing hotel rooms. Tell me you haven't considered exploring your sexuality. You'd be lying and you know it" Sam said, pouting as he leaned back on the couch, refusing to look his brother in the eye._

"_Yes I have Sam, so I went out and hooked up with some beautiful ladies. I'm not gay," Dean once again felt slightly guilty, almost willing to say anything in his drunken slur to his brother. "I'd die for you Sam, but I… we can't do this."_

"_Whatever" Sam said, refusing to look at Dean as a single tear traced his check. Pain filled his eyes "I never thought you'd be the one to reject me" _

"_Sam I am not rejecting you! How can you expect me to want you?" Dean said, a slight hesitation in his voice. The thought of giving more pain to his brother was too much; he wanted to escape, to hide from the eyes peering into his soul. "I…I need to leave" Dean said, the hesitation more clear in his voice. _

"_Leave then, betray me. Just go Dean, and don't come back," Sam attempted to push Dean from the couch, but simply fell on his brother's back. "I don't love you," Sam said in a slur, his attempt completely futile. _

"_Oh god Sam please, please don't act like this. I thought you wanted to be normal, kissing your brother is not normal." Dean couldn't help but feel his resistance fading fleetingly, unable to cause pain for his brother._

_Sam leaned in a bit closer, planting a soft kiss on the nape of his brother's neck. "Hold me Dean, tell me you love me?" Sam asked, pleading for the simple carnal comforts he longed for. Dean felt his resistance breaking down, the feeling of his brother's tears was too much for him to bear. _

"_Just once," he said hesitantly "You'll see that this is wrong, I am sure a kiss will prove that to you." He said, turning to close the distance between their lips. The warm pressure of his younger brother's lips sent a shiver down Dean's spine; his lips couldn't help but trembled in response. Sam's hand traced up Dean's back, pulling his shirt up to reveal the tense muscle. _

_Pulling their lips apart briefly Sam pulled Dean's shirt off, ignoring the look of surprise from his brother. Pulling Dean closer Sam slipped his tongue gently through Dean's lips, ravishing in the delightful taste of his brother. Pushing his body close Sam pushed Dean over, pinning him easily to the couch._

"_I want you Dean," he said simply between kisses, his hand roaming down Dean's bare chest. Dean couldn't help but respond to the warm touch, his member quickly filling with blood. Letting out a deep grunt he pulled Sam's shirt free. The tense muscles of Sam's chest felt firm under Dean's wide hands. Pushing his thoughts away he gave in, allowing Sam to unbutton his pants, and push his boxers down enough to see Dean's thick, long cock. _

_Kissing down Dean's chest Sam rushed towards the thickness he longed to kiss. He teased the tip of the hard member with his touch, flicking it gently with his tongue before taking it into his mouth. Moving slowly he began to suck the tip, moving deeper with each suck. The feeling of Sam's tongue against his hot flesh sent spasms through Dean's cock, the pleasure quickly building. As Sam began to move faster Dean began to gently buck his hips, adding to the rhythm already building. When at last he could hold out no long Dean let out a gasp of pleasure as his slick cum shot into the mouth of Sam. The drunken spinning and the feeling of his body's red hot fire ran through his blood, causing his muscles to tense and spasm, caused Dean to grasp his brother's hair, holding him in place. _

_Finally releasing Sam, Dean attempted to ease his breathing, and force away the guilt. Sam looked at Dean expectantly, obviously longing for the same treatment. Dean looked deep into Sam's eyes and nodded simply as he moved down to his brother's groin. Unsure of his abilities he hesitantly licked the tip, pleasantly surprised by the sweet taste of Sam's skin. Moving his tongue around the tip Dean plunged Sam's dick into his throat, quickly beginning to deep throat. _

_The sudden pressure of Dean's sucking, and the warmth of his tongue on Sam's dick caused Sammy to let out a grunt of pleasure. Running a hand through Dean's hair Sam couldn't help but feel right. The feeling of his brother pushing his cock deep into his throat was thrilling. The prospect of his cum filling Dean's mouth pushed Sam to buck his hips, yearning to reach his climax._

_Sam let out a whimper as he felt pleasure suddenly engulf him. Leaning his head back against the couch he attempted to slow his body's reaction, to no avail. In a brief second he felt the world crash around him, his body filling with pleasure as his muscles clenched. Gripping the couch cushions he tried to hold back from bucking too hard against Dean._

_Sam's breath came out with a raging force; Dean looked up at Sam suddenly horrified as he swallowed his brother's salty aftermath. Looking down Dean pulled his pants up, and gathered up his shirt, rushing towards the door. With a fleeting glance back at Sam, he rushed from the room. _

"Sam I did not mean to hurt you, but you have to see that what we did was wrong. Incest is wrong." Dean said shaking the vivid flashback from his mind. "I had to leave, before things got even more out of hand. I could never forgive myself if I let things go too far."

"Dean I tasted your cum, how is that not going too far? You swallowed mine as well; we are well past too far." Sam said releasing the knife from Dean's back. "I do not regret the pleasure we shared last night, drunk or not."

Dean turned to face Sam, their bodies still close together, "I can't do this, you must try to forget" he said before pulling away. Heading towards the door, he felt the constant stare of his brother. "Let us forget about this Sam, let's go hunt some evil, kick some ass. Things will be better if we can just move on."

Sam couldn't help but nod, he was afraid of losing his brother, afraid of being left all alone.

"I…I found a hunt, let's get to it." Dean said simply, unable to convey any other rational thought. "Killing some evil sons of bitches makes everything better"

Dean slammed his body against the wall, narrowly missing the vase flying towards his head. Sam was lost somewhere in the maze of deteriorated rooms, searching for any sign of a diary. Peeking around the corner Dean caught a glimpse of a young child, angrily throwing all she could get her hands on. The blood on her yellow dress, and the pale blue skin was the only sign that she was dead.

"Come on" He said as a dinner plate crashed onto his leg, leaving a deep cut. Throwing himself from behind the wall he fired a single shot of rock salt into the girls head. Her image faded and he knew he had a moment to prepare himself for the next attack.

"Sammy! Find anything?" he called to his brother, knowing it was more wishful thinking than anything else. From the other side of the house Dean heard a distant 'no'.

The minutes were flying by and come sunset the little girl would disappear and yet another day would be rendered useless. They had searched the grounds, found her body and seemingly sent her packing. Only it did not work, she was still in the house, throwing her never ending tantrum. The story claimed a little girl with little blonde curls sent her Daddy packing. Her mommy was found all around, the blood caked like mud upon the girl's world. An uncle had come, and he quickly won, slitting her throat and sending her into the darkest moat.

Every year the little girl came, seeking revenge on the parents she felt had done her wrong. It was said her father touched and her mother in turn refused to touch her. The angry child was willing to throw tantrums, and kill, whoever entered her house. Every day she rose from beyond, and every night she faded into the horizon. If Dean and Sam did not hurry they would miss their chance a third day in a row.

The only thing belonging to the little girl that had not been burned was a diary, one she held in the last picture ever taken of her. Dean and Sam had searched everywhere, and were damn near just burning the place down.

A burst of giggles erupted from behind him, causing Dean's eyes to widen just before he was thrown onto a wall. The crunching sound of his shoulder blades smashing into the hard wood echoed through the room, causing the girl to laugh again.

"Mommy didn't love meeeee because Daddy loved meeeee too much" she said in a singsong voice, as though she was happy her father had touched her. Dean couldn't help but think 'Stockholm syndrome'.

The little girl picked up a large plank of wood, and prepared to throw it, clearly aiming for Dean's head. Behind her the creek of an old floor board caused her head to jerk around. Sam stood with a wide grin, the diary and a lit match in hand. With a dramatic hand gesture the book burst into flames, the little girl burning with it.

"God Sammy did you wait long enough?" Dean said with a smile, clearly relieved he did not have a plank sprouting from his head.

"Next time you go on a wild goose chase, and I'll face the scary six year old" Sam said heading towards the impala.

The awkwardness of the drunken night still hung in the air, the unsaid words whispering in Sam's ear. The need for answers constantly pushing him to ask questions Dean refused to answer. A shrug or an excuse for a sudden departure was the only answer he would receive. When at last Sam could take it no more he turned to his brother, who was loudly munching on chips and watching Sexy Dr MD.

"Dean?" Sam asked hesitantly, his tone clearly spelling out 'We need to talk'.

"Ya, Sam?" Dean asked, refusing to look up from the small television set. His jaw was set in annoyance and it was clear he had no intention of answering any questions his brother needed to ask.

"Why won't you talk about it?" Sam asked standing up, his frustration coming off in waves, filling the room with an air of hostility.

"We don't need to talk about it," Dean said simply, his shoulders tense with stress. "Sam I just want to pretend it didn't happen. It was wrong,"

"It isn't as though we can have messed up kids Dean." He concluded lamely, attempting to provide any evidence against the laws of nature. "No one would ever know,"

"Sam I would know, and I don't want to have to live with the guilt of having fucked my brother" Dean's tone clearly read guilt, but Sam could sense a hint of something else.

"Dean I know you liked it" Sam said taking a step closer, his eyes daring Dean to deny his feelings.

Dean pulled himself from the couch, taking a broad step away from his brother. Consequently his brother moved closer, closing the distance in one long stride.

"Dean" he pleaded, his voice betraying the hunger burning inside. Pushing Dean against the wall, Sam forced himself to ignore the look of shock and irritation on his brother's face. "Dean I want you, and I will not settle for anything less,"

Sam's hand forced its way under Dean's shirt, the hard abs tense with anticipation. His fingers walked up and down Dean's happy trail, the rough fingertips against the soft skin sending shivers down Dean's spine.

"Oh god, please Sam don't" Dean said in a hushed whisper more pleading with his brother to continue than to stop. Sam leaned in, forcing his lips roughly against his older brother's. The passions of the night they shared together coming back in floods. Sam pushed Dean's hands against the wall, pinning him long enough for his other hand to sling down and unbutton Dean's pants.

It all began to happen in a rush, Sam's hands all over Dean's rough body. The feeling of sensual comfort as Sam slipped his clothing off, bending over the bed for Dean.

"Take me," he said in a husky voice, the need to feel Dean's hard cock inside of him pushing him to beg. Dean obliged, pulling his boxers down to reveal his throbbing member. Aligning himself with Sam's tight rosebud he pushed in, gently against the pressure. Sam's body gave way and allowed Dean access to the deepest part of his brother.

Dean moaned, the tightness of Sam's ass pulling him in waves of pleasure, each movement pushing both boys closer to the edge. Dean thrust into Sam, his hips rocking as his cock rubbed against the soft tissue and nerves, sending his brother into waves of pleasure.

"Ohhh Deaaaaan" Sam said as Dean reached around to rub his cock, pushing Sam into a powerful climax. Gripping the sheets Sam buried his face into the crevasses of the blanket, hoping he could suspend time in that moment. As Dean pulled out Sam felt a sudden sense of loss and longed for the warm touch of his brother's hand.

Once again Dean pulled away, a look of disgust on his face as he turned away from Sam.

"I'm losing all sense of right and wrong" Dean said simply, wishing he could take back the defiling of his brother.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean walked into the musty hotel room, the sun setting in the distance. The yellows and pinks blurred together, throwing a dim shadow across the world. Looking up to the sky, Dean knew this was all he had ever longed for; the feeling of peace. Sadly he also knew it was the calm before the storm. His next actions would shatter the illusion his brother and himself had been hiding under for the last few days.  
Hours spent memorizing each other's bodies, tracing the lines of tough muscles, and fulfilling the longing that had been left unquenched for so many years. Dean had given into his brother, bent him over a bed and changed their relationship. Now he knew he had to set things right, he had to save what was left of the brotherly love they had and forsake the carnal pleasures they had enjoyed during the night.  
Turning the brass knob slowly, Dean felt the peace of the sunset fade. Sam stood expectantly, crossing the room in just a few eager strides. His rough hand reached for Dean, a smile playing across his handsome features.  
"I've missed you, what took so long?" Sam asked expectantly, easily falling into the role of needy boyfriend.  
"Sam, we...we have to talk" Dean said, his eyes on the floorboards. Sam would know from his tone, know that Dean was going to once again deny the pleasure they felt; the growing love.  
"About...?" Sam asked, his voice cracking slightly as he attempted to make eye contact with his brother.  
"Us, this..." Dean said without looking up, he knew that one look at Sam would cause his resistance to break; he would be apologizing and holding his hurt brother.  
It was Sam's silence that forced Dean to look up at last, a decision he quickly regretted. His brother's eyes were dark and forbearing, his body tense with pain. Sam knew their fun had ended, and the pain was visible over his entire body.  
"So I am just another bar wench? Someone you bend over and fuck, then leave a few nights later when the fun is over?" Sam asked, attempting to convey anger, but only pain bled through his voice.  
"Sam you know damn well you aren't another one night stand. I...I'm not gay dude, I don't know why I let us get this far but trust me it is for the best if we both just move on." Dean said, shaking his head to convince himself Sam's words weren't true. The truth of the matter was the fun had never stopped. Even now Dean longed to feel his brother's arms around him; that was what scared him so much, the intense need he felt.  
A smile graced Sam's features as he turned away from Dean, a low laugh echoing from his throat.  
"You are so much easier than I ever thought possible. I never expected you to fall for this stupid plan. It looks like all of your fan girls were right, you are gay." Sam said harshly, his low chuckle filling the silence as Dean stared dumbfound at his brother.  
"Oh come on you had to have known your brother would never push the limits, never let his mind slip to your body. Sam was always the smart one" Sam said with a hallow laugh, as Dean's eyes squinted in confusion.  
"Catch a hint, Dean!" Sam screamed, his eyes turning black "Sam never wanted you! He has been in here pleading for you to stop violating his body." The demon said, Sam's eyes flashing back to their classic hazel.  
Dean forced his anger to concentrate on the task at hand; on the demon and the many tortures he would inflict on it.  
"Tsk tsk, you don't want to hurt little Sammy, now do you?" The demon asked with a wide grin, mockingly innocent. "Oh Dean I waaaant you! I never thought a line as simple as that would push you to such great lengths. It is one thing to sell your soul for a family member, it is another to bend them over and fuck their brains out"  
"Maybe I made a few mistakes, but it is nothing compared to the hell I am about to inflict to you. I am going to bathe you in holy water, you son of a bitch." Dean said, his body quickly lunging for the night stand. Sam came crashing down on him, Dean's head landing bluntly on the corner. Blood streamed down his face, blurring his vision.  
"Now now Dean, play nice. I won't let you bend me over again if you can't be a good boy and keep away from knives." Sam said coldly, his knees pressed heavily against Dean's chest. Reaching into his boot Sam firmly took the knife into his hands and pressed it against Dean's neck.  
"Dean, I am going to kill you" He said simply enough, the knife gleaming in the dim light.  
"Not if I have anything to do with it," Dean said, his hand emerging from under the bed, a flask in hand. The holy water sang as it flew into Sam's face, the smoke immediately permeating from the tan skin. Dean used his only chance to reach under the mattress and pull a knife from its hiding place. Pressing the knife against the demons throat he began the rights to the exorcism.  
"N Nomen of Jesus Sarcalogos , nostrum Senior quod Saviour , fulcio per intercession of Immaculate Virgo Mary , Matris of Deus of Beatus Michael Archangel of Beatus Apostolus Peter quod Paul , quod totus Sanctus , quod validus in sanctus auctorita nostri ministry , nos fiducialiter suscipio ut res publica tentatio quod furta of diabolus." His voice rang through the room, the demon held in place by the knife and the violent words forcefully freed it's self from Sam's meat suit. The black cloud filled the room, and disappeared through the ceiling.  
Sam's body fell to the ground, crashing roughly as the world faded to black.

Dean wiped Sam's brow, afraid to touch the brother he had lain with for so many nights. Despair covered his facial features, the weight of the world hanging from his shoulders. Thoughts of how Sam would react to Dean's actions, how their relationship would be shattered by the last week's events.

Sam's eyes fluttered open, the dim light of the hotel room causing his head to spin. His brother's green eyes were the first full image he could make out. The dark green glimmering long before Dean's face came into focus. Sam's heart fluttered as he looked into those eyes, but the feeling faded quickly; it was gone before it ever registered in his mind.  
"Dean?" He asked hesitantly, afraid of the unsaid words, all the things that had evolved over the short span of a week.  
"Sammy I...I am so sorry. I should have known you would never cross those lines...but seeing you in pain...I couldn't help but give in"  
"Dean are you really going to claim you didn't want to? I saw the hunger in your eyes; I am your fucking brother! What were you thinking?" Sam asked, pulling himself away from his brother, who he felt was sitting too close for comfort.  
"Sam...Please? Please let's pretend I didn't do it" Dean pleaded, his voice cracking under the immense sadness he felt inside. Maybe it would blow over, they would forgive and forget; maybe they would make a joke now and then; or maybe just maybe Sam would leave Dean. Leave him to face the world alone.


	3. Chapter 3

Dean closed his eyes a moment before forcing them open again, he was quickly falling asleep and would soon be wrapping the car around a tree if he didn't stop and rest.

"Sam?" he called out in the darkness to his younger brother. The answer was a deep grunt that made it clear Dean would be driving until he came across a motel. "Sam, come on man, I'm fallin' asleep over here"

Sam's reply consisted of an eye roll and another guttural sound. Both of which were followed by an intense glare. Dean could feel his very soul sizzling away under the eyes of his brother.

"How long are you going to hate me? I said I was sorry and…well that is all I can say" Dean said softly, unsure whether to justify his actions of leave his brother alone. Hell he had considered leaving his brother at the motel and then driving off a cliff.

"II don't know Dean, if I drive are you going to rape me while I walk to the driver side?" Sam asked sarcastically, his tone bitter and full of raw anger. He wanted nothing to do with his good –for-nothing-brother. He just wanted to leave it all behind, to forget the last week and move past the ache in his ass.

"It wasn't rape…I…I was tricked damn it Sammy." Dean said defensively, Sam had gone out and gotten himself possessed and he certainly couldn't blame Dean for the consequences of that event. Sure Dean had bent his brother over and fucked his brains out, and sure Dean had thoroughly enjoyed it, but at the time he had thought his brother wanted him. Dean almost missed that need, being needed.

"Yeah, you were tricked into fucking your brother? I never thought you had a problem with that line before Dean." Sam said, his voice leaking acid into Dean's heart. With each accusation Dean felt himself fade further and further into the dark. He actually longed for hell; better to have your insides ripped out than to face hatred from the only family you have left.

"We've always been too close Sam, and when you cried and begged me to take you…I…I gave in because I love you and the thought of losing you scares me to death. Hell, I sold my soul to avoid living without you." Dean said in a rush, grasping for any justification, any logical excuse for his actions.

"So let me get this straight? Your in love with me, so you sold your soul to save me?" Sam asked, disgust filling his voice. "Dean that's fucked up"

Dean was glad the darkness hid his face because a slight blush had began to build in his freckled cheeks. He had never considered it like that, and he knew without a doubt he only loved his brother the way a brother should. It had been lust that had overcome him, lust that had forced him to push his way into the deepest recesses of his brother. _Or was it? _

As soon as the question popped into his head Dean forced it away, it had to have been lust. The bitch had put him under some sort of spell and it had forced his actions. She had played on his weaknesses, and broke Sam and Dean in a way that had never before been accomplished.

"No Sam, I'm not in love with you. Dude I was tricked into it, I was only tryin' to say that I don't want this to ruin our relation- our friendship" He said, his voice cutting off at the word relationship, he had only meant their relationship as brothers, but he knew Sam would assume the worst.

"So now we are dating?" Sam asked, his eyes narrowing in the dark "That's it, let me out of this fucking car now."

"You know what?" Dean asked as he pulled the car to a slow stop, the empty road stretching endlessly in the gleam of the headlights. "Fuck you. I messed up, but it is nothing compared to causing the apocalypse! I forgave you, Sammy. Now look at Mr. High-and-Mighty, you won't even forgive me for something I thought was helping you. Get out; I am sick of your bitching. Just get out and find your own way! Go suck some demon blood, and fuck a few black eyed bitches"

Silence filled the car as the last echoes of Dean's voice faded, the dim light barely illuminated the two brother's; both with ghastly glares etched into their fine features. The only sounds that broke the silence were the loud thumps of Dean's heart, and the soft sound of Sam's breathing. Dean closed his eyes for a moment before making up his mind. He leaned over his brother, his tongue lightly crossing his lips for a brief second before he closed a few more inches between them. His hand moved slowly, painstakingly slow, as he reached across the car, his fingertips trailing Sam's thigh as he pushed the door open.

"Get out" he growled, his lips only a few centimeters from his brother's, his green eyes shining with anger and a glimpse of lust.


End file.
